A Girl, A Boy, and Their Dad

Not many things in life have been sweeter than watching Sebastian grow from friend to boyfriend to husband to dad. When Aliyah was born, it was amazing—and yes, surprising even—to see how Sebastian naturally fell into the role of being a caring father. To him, it was an important life challenge to accept and take seriously, but not without losing the sense of fun that he brings to everything he does.

When Aliyah was about two months old, he let me sleep in one weekend. He took it upon himself to dress her (most likely the first time he had fully dressed a baby), so he rummaged through her clothes and put her in a pair of orange shorts, a onsie with a tiger on it that said, “Wild Thing” and grabbed a safari hat off of a teddy bear nearby. When I woke up, they were both waiting for me, and I couldn’t help but shake my head and smile.




What I love most about how Sebastian goes about parenting is his honesty. He will be the first to tell you that in the first couple of months after both of our kids were born, he was at a loss at what to do with them after about twenty minutes, because as he says, "What else can you do with a newborn?". He’ll let you know that he thinks spit up is gross, or that his three year old daughter can be a difficult to handle at times. He’ll also let you know how incredibly in love he is with both of his kids, and that despite his awareness that he is bias, he still thinks they are hands down the coolest daughter and son around.  And our kids feel this. They both light up when Daddy comes home or when he talks directly to them. They both can be heard laughing because of some funny antic that only Sebastian can pull off.  And they both listen when Daddy disciplines them with love (well, maybe not Isaac just yet.)  As they grow I see that the bonds from father to daughter and father to son are only growing stronger.

A close second to what I love about Sebastian’s parenting is that he believes in me as a mother and he tells me this often. Not a day goes by where I don’t feel his support through either words or actions. In addition to being a manager and mentor in the professional world, as well as taking on hobbies with fervor (writing, golf and exercising to name a few), the amount of energy he puts into taking care of our children and being present in their life is incredible.

I know I’m not the only person out there who feels this way about their significant other, and I love to read or hear about others who appreciate their partners.  I’m not trying to brag or to show-off. (In fact, when I started this post, I thought it was going to be about Sebastian and Isaac’s relationship. Instead this turned out to be an act of gratitude for all Sebastian does as a husband and father.) Our family is lucky to have him. This one’s for you, Bastian. xoxo

Around Here

Hard to believe that little Isaac's been here for almost four weeks. Some parts of life have changed quite a bit, while others have stayed the same, but I think this weekend was the first time where things felt more settled and normal. Sebastian and I are slowly getting into our groove with things like sleeping, breastfeeding, entertaining both kids and taking time for ourselves. I even managed to leave the house by myself to go the gym and Target since Isaac took a bottle from Sebastian. This is amazing, since I remember we waited a few months to introduce bottles to Aliyah and she refused for quite a few weeks. I'm still nursing him most of the time, but the fact that other people can now feed him helps to know that I can step away for a little bit if needed.

I am loving being on maternity leave and allowing myself the time to enjoy both of my kids without the stress of work. We're keeping Aliyah in daycare three times a week, and so far it's been a good transition for her. I enjoy my time with both her and Isaac and am glad she's home for at least two days a during the week with me. It's fun to be able to play with her and work with her on math, writing and crafts. Though I will admit, since newborns rule the nest, I do find myself worrying whether I'm giving her enough of my time. I never want her to feel as if I am putting her second. Balancing the needs of Isaac with her needs and wants is something I'm slowly figuring out, and each week gets a little bit better. At the same time I'm also happy that I get to spend some precious one-on-one, newborn time with Isaac while Aliyah is having fun with her friends at "school". 

Here's a few snapshots of what we've been doing these past three or four weeks. 

I think it's a given, I could stare at Isaac all day. He's huge compared to Aliyah at almost four weeks, but he is so incredibly adorable. 

Sebastian was able to take paternity leave for two weeks. This was a huge help since it made the transition of going from a family of three to four much easier. I also attribute Aliyah's ability to welcome Isaac with no jealousy to the fact that Sebastian was home and could give her some much needed attention those first two weeks. Even though he said he wasn't going to work, he did clock in some time from home. What a guy. :)

Adorable father and son moments. I'm always amazed at how well Sebastian falls into the father role, no matter what age our kids are. He changes diapers, he swaddles Isaac, he showers Aliyah with attention and he disciplines. It's great to have him by my side. 

Candy Land is a new favorite around here. Often times Sony Baby has to play with us. This makes the game about 10 times longer than necessary, but it's Sony Baby. He can never be left out. 

As I mentioned before, Aliyah has taken to being a big sister with flying colors. Most of the time she doesn't pay too much attention to her little brother, but she is quick to tell us we need to be quiet when he's sleeping, and if he cries she'll rock and shush him--and then come running to me letting me know that she's done so. She loves to hold his hand and give him kisses. I'm so grateful that she's been so good at sharing the spotlight. Especially when this little girl has received a huge amount of attention from Mom and Dad for the past three years. 

Aliyah also celebrated her 3rd birthday earlier this month. I have a three year old? How can that be? One of her gifts was a package of about a hundred temporary tattoos and she was in love. If I would have let her, she would have tried to put all of them on at once. 

And last, but certainly not least. We can't forget out "first son", Sony. This is pretty much how he feels about Isaac. No big deal, as long as he has a comfy spot to sleep. Interesting story: When Aliyah was born, Sony disappeared for three days. We thought he was gone forever, and that would have been terrible, because this cat probably means more to us and a cat should--but then again, he's a pretty cool and awesome cat. This time, Sony decided he didn't need to be so dramatic and stayed put at the house. Now if only I could get him to stop bringing tiny lizards into the house....

Phone Snapshots: A Little Catch Up

Life has been pretty typical here for the Carden's. I sometimes forget how much goes on week by week until I take a look at my phone snapshots. Thank goodness for Instagram, right? Here's a little recap of what we've been up to lately.

1. Easter Egg Hunt: We arrived early to this event, but so did everyone else it seemed. It was packed and pure chaos. Thank goodness for Sebastian's perseverance, because I immediately suggested we leave. We ended up staying and I'm glad we did because Aliyah very much enjoyed it.
2. Coloring Easter Eggs: We dyed eggs this year for the first time. Her patience didn't allow for very bright colors, but she still loved the entire process.
3. Phoenix Children's Museum: Sebastian was gone one weekend, so Aliyah and I made the trip into downtown Phoenix to the children's museum. It was a great little morning trip and a good way to spend some one-on-one time with my girl.
4. Singing Diva: This girl loves to sing and dance and talk. Gosh, how she talks. She is constantly chit-chatting right up until she finally falls asleep at night from exhaustion. She will frequently have conversations with herself and sometimes I will think she's talking to me and I'll ask her to repeat what she said, but she'll reply with, "Oh, I was just talking to myself, Mommy."
5. Barbara's Napa Wedding: I made my last trip while pregnant to California at the end of May to attend one of my very dear friend's wedding in Napa. It was a gorgeous event, and I had a great time. We've had (and still do have) quite a few weddings this year, so Sebastian and Aliyah stayed back while I attended this one solo.
6. Trips to the Library: The library is definitely one of our go-to places when we need to take a little break from the extreme heat. Aliyah has picked up a great love of reading and I've mentioned before that I am impressed at the libraries in Scottsdale and what they have to offer, so we always have fun when we go. Just a few days ago, Aliyah said she wanted to try to read 20 books in one day. But I'm pretty sure it was her bedtime and she was just trying to figure out a way to stay up later.
7. Evening Soccer Games: Sebastian started a Yelp soccer league about a year ago and Aliyah and I have started going to his games in Tempe. Aliyah loves to force anyone on the team to kick the ball back and forth to her. And by force, I mean she locks eyes with them and kicks the ball, so their options are pretty limited. She has a blast each time we go and it's been fun to watch Sebastian and his team get better and better each week. They even managed to move up a a division when they won their previous divisions championship game.
8. Hiking in Tonto National Forest:
We took a weekend trip here last year and made our way back again, this time for just the afternoon. The weather is hot here in Arizona, so it was our last hike until it cools down again. Plus I was about 7 months pregnant for this trip and I've never been so winded trying to hike back up from the Natural Bridge. Sebastian and Aliyah went ahead of me, while I slooooooooowly walked back at my own pace.
9. Family Dinners with Oma & Spencer: Sebastian's Mom and our nephew, Spencer made the trip out here from Georgia again this summer during 4th of July week. Spencer has been attending iD Tech for the past four years now, and the past two years he and Oma have come out here for a week and a half to visit and for Spencer to attend our ASU camp location. The week is filled with lots of fun conversation, wine drinking, and home-cooked meals that are to die-for. I always eat very well when Oma comes into town.
10. Cousins: Aliyah loves when any of her cousins come visit. Being that she is the youngest, she is constantly in their face, but Spencer did really well with her and included her in numerous games and played with her. She is still asking where Spencer is and misses him a lot.
11. Best Buds: Sony is loving all the attention he is getting from Aliyah now that she has finally figured out that jumping on him isn't how he wants to be petted. I'll find these two frequently cuddled up together and Sony loves to plop down right in front of Aliyah so she'll give him some attention.
12. Current Reads: Finding a good book is always tough for me, especially if I've just finished one that I've really enjoyed. My last read was The Distant Hours, which had me up to 2am one night trying to finish it, so I was happy when I picked up two books that are both really good shortly thereafter. The top one, The Best of Everything, is a piece of fiction from the late 50's that is reminiscent of the t.v. series, Mad Men, which I love. I love anything to do with that era, and so far I can't put this book down. Sebastian bought me the second one, Lean In, which is a non-fiction book by Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of facebook and it really hits home since it talks about women in the workforce and how there are still too few female executives and why this should change. I like this book mostly because she talks a lot about being a working mom and the challenges that come with it, all without being overly feminist or soap-boxy. A good read that I would recommend to any woman.

Today's Adventure: As told by Sebastian

The last week of August I was gone on my annual company trip. As a company, we once again made our yearly goals for growth, so each full-time employee was flown out to Cabo to enjoy a little bit of relaxation after another whirlwind summer. For most people in our company, summer is non-stop chaos since that is when our actual summer camps are up and running and it's showtime. (On a side note: I can't believe I've been there 6 years now. It was my first "career" job out of college and what an amazing company it has been to work at for so long.)

Of course, our company doesn't pay for each employee's family, which is understandable, so each family or friend brought along is an additional expense. Aliyah turned the big 2 this summer which means that bringing her and Sebastian along would have been pretty expensive with flights and hotel, so we decided to save a few pennies and have Mom go solo for the first year since I've been married or been a parent. (I have to say, I'm pretty sad to see the "free" seat for Aliyah go now that she's two.) Because I was leaving my two favorite people at home, I decided to just do four days in paradise. It was the perfect amount of time to be away. Just enough to have some fun and alone time, but also enough to be incredibly happy and grateful to be back in their arms when I returned.

I often get asked by my co-workers if Sebastian can handle taking care of Aliyah for such a long time when I'm away for business trips in San Jose. And to that I never have any hesitation to say, "Of course!". Sebastian is an amazing Dad and while I miss both he and Aliyah terribly when I go away, one thing that I am very grateful for is that I know that Aliyah is in great hands with Sebastian. I never have to worry about how they're getting by. Sebastian is also great at keeping me in the loop and writing me sweet little letters like this so I can read all the fun they're having together.

Here's his letter from when I was in Cabo:

What a day,

This morning, Aliyah's sentence repetition blew me away. "Look at the little bunny, Daddy." She spoke it slowly and clearly, and I think she kept repeating it because she was so proud. We got off to a bit of a slow start because were having quite a bit of fun. Once she got in the car, she started fussing a bit about Lightning not being there. Then she fussed about you being gone.

Then more about Lightning... and a little more "Where's Lightning?" after that.

I picked her up a bit early today (since the team did well) and disaster struck immediately.

Everyday, Aliyah rushes up to me. This time she came barreling towards me like a maniac. I failed to soften her slamming into me though, and her nose bumped hard into my shoulder. It wasn't super painful and she didn't cry too much, but she had quite a bloody nose. It got on her shirt, my shirt, and she really didn't know what to make of it. She was fascinated by the taste (it was really coming out) and the color it left on the napkins.

She wouldn't look up so I had to lay her down. She didn't like that, so Ms. Monica and I assuaged her plight with some crackers.

At home, she went nuts with Nola (that's "gronola in Aliyah talk) again. I gave her some celery, but she kept asking for Nola. We played a bit and I downloaded Madagascar. At first, she was a bit spooked, but she settled into my shoulders for a bit and we watched it with few interruptions.

After that, it was Lightning Puzzle time. We also did some spelling exercises in Microsoft Word. I had her find letters and I think she's starting to get the concept of sounding out words. We'll see. Bedtime was a little challenging, but I'm committed to turning her around in the next four days. I played hard ball.

Real hard ball. I told her if she didn't stop crying I was going to take Italian Car, because Italian's don't like crying. She cried.

I look Italian Car. She lost her 'Ish, Marta. You should've heard her. I felt terrible.

I returned 10 seconds later and returned Italian Car.

She went to sleep with just one more request. Tea.

She's such a sweetheart. We miss you lots and hope your enjoying the Margaritas and Coronas. You absolutely deserve your trip.

Love,

Bastian Sauce and Aliyah Berry

Happy Birthday Bastian!

Happy 29th birthday to the one of the most amazing men I know. This guy is a beautiful, sweet and caring husband, a phenomenal Daddy to Aliyah, and a true and dear friend to many people around the world. Here's to another year of great memories and becoming a little bit wiser, Sebastian. Your family loves you!